婚婚姻论

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    婚姻,成人之大事,亦是家族之重事也。
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    古之婚者,有所谓六礼之彩,而亦成此事。今之婚者,有所谓三金、彩礼之事,更为有甚者言其房车之必备,而可言结婚之事,此为利益之事耳!与夫言之曰婚姻,不如言之交易也。
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    常在今世,闻所谓离婚者众多,而对婚姻一事偏生恐惧,而不敢与之交,亦不敢为之而言。
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    古之婚姻乃家族之盛事,今之婚姻乃双人之事。或在结婚之前末,而与父母亲友为之交,不过短暂之事。而长久陪伴之所事,乃是婚姻双方男女之事耳!
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    余认为古之家庭与今之家庭为两种不同之概念,古者为一家族之群体,今者为一小家,或为二三人,便可为家。此等之发展亦随现代之经济所发展,人伦思想之改变而变化,而生今日之家庭,亦成今日之婚姻也。
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    然今者,为何不敢而言婚姻之事?
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    余以为今者,不敢言婚姻者多为男子,女子或有结婚之深情,而其男子负担之过重而不敢娶,更有女子所放言:“中国多生三千万光棍,不愁找不到好婆家!”此等女子之所见,为之而大缪。
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    但不可而否认,结婚有所谓门第之见,按俗语而言:“不是一家人,不进一家门。”
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    上层之社会有所谓联姻之事,亦充实其家族势力。然会牺牲个人之自由、幸福之事,或有深爱者,只可为少数。
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    下层之人,而是生活之压迫所联合之婚姻,此等之婚姻质量必为之而不高。
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    中层之婚姻,亦有挑挑拣拣之病,而此等之毛病,常在女方之家,尤为突出。
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    然被婚姻者,或有相爱者,或未有。而事实上,世上相爱之人少之可怜,而较现实之事态之多,并非所谓之爱情全然而掩盖,人之相欢着实哀事。
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    余以为青年之人,常有其毛病。此等之毛病,在于多娇,在于吃饱了撑没事干。
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    或在平日之下为其感情而争执,或为精神之寄托不明,而生离心,或视他人之美貌,而乘欲为事,谓之为“出轨”。加之琐事,而至男女之双方竟毁婚盟,弃之不顾,实难看出婚姻之大事,竟会在此等之人眼中视作儿戏。
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    余言结婚者,有此等情况而为婚:
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    一、为利益而为婚者,其婚姻外表而见岁月之安好,只是暗中却生离别意。
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    二、为相爱而为婚者,其婚姻或随时光之流逝,而生别意。或为深厚,或为陌离。
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    三、为需求而骗婚者,此等之婚姻,只可存在短暂之岁月,非有长久之时矣。
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    大致所想,有如三者之婚姻。然世上有不婚之人,而此等人物之情感,余为不知也。
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    余以为真正之婚姻在乎情感之真挚,而非利益之勾结,非亲友之偏见,非他人之所议,而是天下惟此二人而不能离。
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    有人言:“婚姻之事,乃是未来之保障,是国家方便之管理。”
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    余以为非为如此,与其言为婚姻,不如说是性情相合之人所在短暂时光之中,度过一段令人难忘之岁月。
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    世间之事千奇而百怪,有太多寻常之男女做事而不明,或弃之而去,或为良果。
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    余愿真正之爱情,能成真正之婚姻,如此情人而为眷属。
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    而之婚姻这二词,是神圣而又美好之产物,非为玷污之名词也。
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    真正美好之婚姻。不,或言之为爱情,更为合适,或分人而可言其美好之结果,可为大幸也。
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    偶然忆起,唐朝一无名氏在写与其妻之信中,如此写道,有“一别两宽,余生安好!”之语,便是离婚之后,而两人亦可成佳友,令后世所羡。
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    此等之婚姻,非有长久之时,亦有美好之时,供余生回味不已。
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    婚姻之大事,今人必持谨慎之态度,此为长者之告诫也。
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